Born to be yourself -Family Matters

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Born to be yourself

All of us at one time or another hear: “You look so much like your mother”, or, “You have your father’s nose”. We rarely however, stop and look at what other, more subtle traits we have inherited from our family.

What I have noticed in my life as well as my clients’ is that many of our thoughts, ideas and beliefs come from our families and societies.  Values about money, relationships and sex have been unknowingly inherited from our surroundings.

The question Family Constellations asks is, “What wants to come through you when you are truly present in this moment, feeling the support coming from behind you?”

Family Constellations are supporting me in discovering who I really am, as an individual. As myself. As who I was born to be. This work helps me be me. Not a carbon copy of someone else.

The Family Constellation method can offer many insights on conscious or unconscious family patterns we have inherited such as anger, sadness, worry, anxiety, relationship issues and even illness. We can free ourselves from belief patterns our family never meant to pass down to us. They also inherited many of those beliefs from their own family!

We often unconsciously “pick-up” our family’s feelings and patterns out of blind love for them. In the meantime, taking these on can only create misery. We lose track of who we really are and end up living someone else’s life. We lose touch with our own needs and desires, and who were were truly meant to be.

Through the clarity of the Family Constellation method, we can together heal issues you have been carrying around for years, giving way to a truer way of living life: A life where your own specialness can shine on. That is the life you were really meant to live.

We begin to feel the immense loving life force that is being carried forward through us and our ancestors.


Jivan Dios is a Canadian Family Constellations Therapist living in Stockholm, Sweden and on the island of Crete in Greece. 

Contact Jivan at



Your parents were doing something because they were taught to do those things. They were brought up by parents also; they had not come from heaven directly. So what is the point of throwing the responsibility backwards? It will not help to solve any problem. It will help only to unburden you from guilt. That is the good part, the beneficial part of psychoanalysis. It unburdens you from guilt. And the harmful part is that it does not make you feel responsible. I teach you responsibility.

What do I mean by responsibility? You are not responsible to your parents, and you are not responsible to any God, and you are not responsible to any priest – you are responsible to your inner being. Responsibility is freedom! Responsibility is the idea that “I have to take the reins of my life in my own hands. Enough is enough! My parents, whatsoever they could do they have done: good and bad, they have done both. Now I have become a mature person. I should take everything in my own hands and start living the way it arises in me. I should devote all my energies to my life now.” And immediately you will feel a great strength coming to you.

Guilt makes you feel weak. Responsibility makes you feel strong. Responsibility gives you heart again, confidence, trust. –Osho