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Be Yourself, No Matter What They Say. 5 Ways How

By on March 6, 2015 in @sv

                                                                   Just be yourself. Loved for who we are Sounds easy. I’ve heard it many times, and for many years, I thought I was actually being myself. The truth is, I wasn’t. I was pretending. When someone asked me to do something, I did it. I often did not pause to feel what was right for me or what I wanted to do. Mechanically, I performed. I wanted to be liked. I wanted people to think I was smart, capable and nice. I wanted to be the “good girl”. I grew up with the idea that if i did what I was told, I was a good girl. I would get more smiles and less conflicts. I wanted to be loved. Not being liked was the most painful thing I could think of. So I adjusted to everyone at every moment according to what they wanted from me. I smiled when I felt sad, felt guilt about feeling angry, and danced when i felt like sitting. In the meantime, I lost myself. I forgot who I was and what was important to me. I kept looking on the outside for approval, and lost what I now know is most important to me: My own voice. My voice, my voice!! I get happy just writing those words! Our voice is makes us unique and extraordinary and is God-given. It is our light that guides us through life! Our sadness, our anger and our joy are all to be celebrated! Now I am the “bad girl”. I’m the girl who says “no” to things I don’t want, even if others think it’s wrong, and yes only to things I do want. And this helps me feel more alive. Setting boundaries and embracing our feelings makes us lighter and more energetic. Juicier. All of our feelings are unique to us, fresh and  true. What can be better that that? Pretending to be something else? I don’t think so. If we listen closely, our voice is speaking softly to us  each and every moment. Our voice can often go against everything we were ever told.  That is ok. It just means something new wants to be explored and that something new wants to come through you. And that can be scary. Because each and every one of our voices is so unique and different, it can often feel alone. But if we can have fun with it and transform it into something creative, what comes after can be magical. Sadness can become a beautiful dance, anger a beautiful sharing with a friend, and joy, the most amazing meal you ever created. Any feeling can be transformed into creativity. If that’s not magic, I don’t know what is. That magic, your magic, then serves the world. And all you had to do was be yourself.   5 practices that help me be myself: -Accepting and breathing with my feelings, including anger and sadness. They are all there to help me learn something and guide me. They are my sacred truth -Accept that I have my own truth and was meant to live the life I truly want, not the life others think is good for me -Follow my own voice and trust its intelligence and its goodness–no matter what -Transform the energy of feelings into something creative such as writing or dancing -Not taking myself too seriously. Relaxing and having fun!   I would love to read about ways your have learned to stay true to yourself.   Jivan Dios is a Canadian Family Constellation Therapist living & working in English, French & Greek in Stockholm, Sweden and on the island of Crete in Greece where she offers couples retreats, therapy & holistic healing.  Online Therapy is also available. contact jivan@opentherapy.se +46.760.455.299  

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How Listening to My Body’s Messages Saved My Life

By on March 6, 2015 in Blog

If I would have believed the doctors and not trusted my own body’s messages, I don’t know if I would be alive today.

My body’s messages is what saved my life.

After numerous doctors visits, I still did not feel at ease when the doctors diagnosed me with an ovarian cyst. The surgeon who was to operate on me told me I had to wait seven months to have it surgically removed. The first doctor I saw didn’t even return my calls after a first visit because it was “nothing serious”. I told the surgeon I was in much pain, that I had to pee every 10 minutes and that my belly was growing by the week. He said, “It’s nothing to worry about. This is a normal cyst. Just relax.” My cyst was deemed non-suspicious, but my body could not relax. Somehow, something didn’t fit. Something was keeping my body from relaxing…

I was restless. My tummy felt anxious. I couldn’t sleep. My legs wanted to move. I lay down one day and simply listened and watched every bodily sensation. I noticed breath, aches and pains. Then, a sentence came to me very strongly through my belly: “Those doctors have no clue what’s really wrong! You cannot wait seven months for surgery! Investigate!” It was a voice so loud that I could not ignore it. I didn’t wait another moment and made an appointment with my surgeon and out of nowhere came the following words out of my mouth: “Do you offer private surgeries outside the Canadian health care system? To my surprise, the answer was yes, for $2,750. Some family and friends told me not to pay so much for the surgery when I could get it for free if I just waited a few months… They told me to take it easy and believe the doctors. They told me that they are the professionals and they know better than me.

My belly didn’t believe it. Five days later and thanks to the private surgery, I received an early-stage cancer diagnosis. If I had waited seven months as the doctor recommended, the cancer would have likely spread. I don’t know if I would be alive today. That was the best 2,750$ I ever spent, hands down! This is not the first time my body was trying to send me important messages. My body had been telling me for months that it wasn’t happy and that it was getting sick. It felt nauseous and tired. But I didn’t listen. If I had, it would have told me that it wanted to live in another place. It wanted to work with something else, something meaningful. It wanted to laugh and dance. Most importantly, my body wanted to be heard. I just had to listen. If I had, I don’t believe I would have developed cancer.

One of the many (believe it or not) wonderful things that came with a cancer diagnosis is a new relationship with my body. We are now best of friends. I can trust it. I know it saved my life. I now listen to it closely because I know it has intelligence far more sophisticated than my mind. If you have difficulty making a decision, ask your body.

When taking a moment to feeling each option, paying attention to which one makes your body’s energy go higher? That one is the right decision. This is fun, because you don’t even need to think. Just ask your body. It never lies! But it is not always easy to listen. Quite often while growing up, we are told to fight the body and its feelings. Don’t tremble with fear, don’t run, don’t laugh too loudly, and don’t dance. Eat all of your food even if you’re not hungry. Drink coffee if you’re tired; you can’t sleep now. Over time, this causes us to lose our connection to our bodies and ultimately our trust in them. By losing our connection to our bodies, we lose our connection to Nature and Life itself. Our bodies are innocent. They are primal and natural and are connected to all of Nature and the universe with its million and one happenings in every moment. How could it not be? As with all beings in Nature, our body works perfectly on its own without the need to think.

As Osho, a great mystic, once said, the grass grows by itself… When we are connected to our bodies and listen closely, something begins to guide us, something bigger, taking us to the next step and then the next step. This something can show up as an inner voice, a knowing or a hunch. Sometimes it can come as physical pain.

This something is what I call Life, the great mystery, always gently guiding us back to the center of it all…Love. In what ways has your body

Originally posted in www.elephantjournal.com

How Listening to My Body’s Messages Saved My Life

By on March 6, 2015 in

If I would have believed the doctors and not trusted my own body’s messages, I don’t know if I would be alive today. My body’s messages is what saved my life. After numerous doctors visits, I still did not feel at ease when the doctors diagnosed me with an ovarian cyst. The surgeon who was to operate on me told me I had to wait seven months to have it surgically removed. The first doctor I saw didn’t even return my calls after a first visit because it was “nothing serious”. I told the surgeon I was in much pain, that I had to pee every 10 minutes and that my belly was growing by the week. He said, “It’s nothing to worry about. This is a normal cyst. Just relax.” My cyst was deemed non-suspicious, but my body could not relax. Somehow, something didn’t fit. Something was keeping my body from relaxing… I was restless. My tummy felt anxious. I couldn’t sleep. My legs wanted to move. I lay down one day and simply listened and watched every bodily sensation. I noticed breath, aches and pains. Then, a sentence came to me very strongly through my belly: “Those doctors have no clue what’s really wrong! You cannot wait seven months for surgery! Investigate!” It was a voice so loud that I could not ignore it. I didn’t wait another moment and made an appointment with my surgeon and out of nowhere came the following words out of my mouth: “Do you offer private surgeries outside the Canadian health care system? To my surprise, the answer was yes, for $2,750. Some family and friends told me not to pay so much for the surgery when I could get it for free if I just waited a few months… They told me to take it easy and believe the doctors. They told me that they are the professionals and they know better than me. My belly didn’t believe it. Five days later and thanks to the private surgery, I received an early-stage cancer diagnosis. If I had waited seven months as the doctor recommended, the cancer would have likely spread. I don’t know if I would be alive today. That was the best 2,750$ I ever spent, hands down! This is not the first time my body was trying to send me important messages. My body had been telling me for months that it wasn’t happy and that it was getting sick. It felt nauseous and tired. But I didn’t listen. If I had, it would have told me that it wanted to live in another place. It wanted to work with something else, something meaningful. It wanted to laugh and dance. Most importantly, my body wanted to be heard. I just had to listen. If I had, I don’t believe I would have developed cancer. One of the many (believe it or not) wonderful things that came with a cancer diagnosis is a new relationship with my body. We are now best of friends. I can trust it. I know it saved my life. I now listen to it closely because I know it has intelligence far more sophisticated than my mind. If you have difficulty making a decision, ask your body. When taking a moment to feeling each option, paying attention to which one makes your body’s energy go higher? That one is the right decision. This is fun, because you don’t even need to think. Just ask your body. It never lies! But it is not always easy to listen. Quite often while growing up, we are told to fight the body and its feelings. Don’t tremble with fear, don’t run, don’t laugh too loudly, and don’t dance. Eat all of your food even if you’re not hungry. Drink coffee if you’re tired; you can’t sleep now. Over time, this causes us to lose our connection to our bodies and ultimately our trust in them. By losing our connection to our bodies, we lose our connection to Nature and Life itself. Our bodies are innocent. They are primal and natural and are connected to all of Nature and the universe with its million and one happenings in every moment. How could it not be? As with all beings in Nature, our body works perfectly on its own without the need to think. As Osho, a great mystic, once said, the grass grows by itself… When we are connected to our bodies and listen closely, something begins to guide us, something bigger, taking us to the next step and then the next step. This something can show up as an inner voice, a knowing or a hunch. Sometimes it can come as physical pain. This something is what I call Life, the great mystery, always gently guiding us back to the center of it all…Love. How and what is your body communicating to you? I would love to hear! This story was originally published on www.elephantjournal.com   Jivan Dios is a Canadian ovarian cancer survivor and therapist living and working in English, French & Greek in Stockholm, Sweden, and on the Greek island of Crete, where she leads customized holistic healing, therapy and couples retreats. She specializes in working online and in person with anxiety, depression, serious illness, fear, pain disorders, stress and obsessive thoughts. 

Raw Chocolatey Coconut Goji Berry Cheesecake

By on March 6, 2015 in @sv
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Raw Chocolatey Coconut Goji Berry Cheesecake

Ok, so I’m a therapist. But I’m also an enthusiast of healthy (and always delicious) food! And can emotional health really happen without cheesecake? I don’t think so.   Raw Chocolatey Coconut Goji Berry Cheesecake! This cake is as good as it looks. So satisfying as a yummy treat all while you pack in a chockfull of antioxidants, vitamins and minerals your body will thank you for. Here’s the recipe: Filling: 5 dl cashews, soaked for 3 hours to overnight 2 dl goji berries, 1.5 dl soaked for at least 20 min, the other .5dl dry 1.25 dl coconut oil 1 ripe banana 3 tbsp (msk) raw honey 3-6 tbsp (msk) fresh lime juice or lemon juice 1 dl cacao butter (do not skip this ingredient!)

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Yummy & Healthy Whole Goji Berries

Crust: 2.5 dl sunflower seeds, soaked overnight 2.5 dl coconut flakes 1.5 dl dates, soaked to soften 2 tbsp (msk) coconut oil 1.5 tbsp raw honey 6 tbsp raw cacao powder 2 tbsp cardamom 4 tbsp coconut nectar water   Topping: 1 dl raw almonds raw honey to taste pinch of sea salt   Instructions: For crust: In a food processor, pulse the sunflower seeds until they are broken into small pieces. Add the remaining ingredients until a dough is formed. Feel free to add water to get the crust consistency you want. Check for yumminess. Spread the yummy dough in a 22 cm (or the closest to) springform pan.   For the filling: Put all ingredients except dry goji berries in a high speed blender until smooth. When your filling is nice and creamy, stir in dry goji berries and pour mixture in the springform pan onto the crust. You’re almost done!   For the topping: Pulse almonds in a blender or food processor and add honey and salt. Sprinkle mixture onto the top of the cake..and voila! Now, all you need is patience. Place your cake in the freezer for about 5 hours or until you simply cannot wait any longer to dig in! I would love to hear how the recipe worked for you!  xoxo