Author Archive | harriet

Losing and finding yourself in relationship

By harriet on februari 20, 2023 in @sv

Learning to be yourself in a relationship is something we all can struggle with. Will they get disappointed if I just say what I think? Or will they get hurt?

For years, I looked at the other.

“What does he want?”

“What is he doing right now?” And most embarrassingly…”If only he called me, I would be happy.”

For a long time, it didn’t even occurto me to ask myself, “What would I like right now?”

When I did finally start asking myself…

“What if he doesn’t want the same thing?

If he doesn’t, and I choose myself, I will lose him. Better just do what he thinks is better. Then, I don’t lose him.”

The problem is, in that moment, I lose myself!

And actually, then comes a second problem: I become un-authentic. A fraud. An actor. A child. Helpless.

And a deep pressure starts building in my chest and belly. And resentment. Anger. A type of hate. Hate that is first directed at him, for believing that he is controlling my life.

But the real hate, the deeper anger is actually towards myself.

For not choosing myself. For letting myself down. For not listening to my innocent, natural voice.

Lately, it’s gotten better. I’ve started listening. When I do choose to listen, a deep sense of calm comes. I feel full. Whole again.

The moment it happens, and it only takes a moment, not later, not tomorrow, but now.

When I choose my own impulse in this moment, I instantly grow-up, my relationship is transformed. I become a partner and not my partner’s child asking about what to do next.

In a moment, the child in me that once faced him asking for more has moved to his side, looking in the same direction, as adults.

In that moment, I feel my breath, I feel my heart.

I am free.

To practice just being authentic and natural, counselling in English in Stockholm is available, as well as couples therapy and counselling. Family Constellations sessions in groups or an individual setting are also offered.

Star Sapphire: Body, essence, male and female

By harriet on januari 10, 2020 in @sv

We are very excited that Moumina Jeffs will be coming to offer us this 3-day workshop sure to be filled with joy, love and spontaneity.
Star Sapphire: Body, essence, male and female in Stockholm this February 28-March 1 2020.

There’s a very direct route to experiencing presence: your body. Even when the mind gets lost in pain and worry, the body remains spontaneous and alive. So this workshop starts with the body. It steps right past the censorship of the critical mind and liberates a great source of vitality.
We will come into connection with a wellspring that is fresh and new moment to moment.
Starting from this body-connectedness, we will explore the two polarities of male and female inside us. Whether we have to deal with difficulties in our relationships or make choices affecting our work and daily life, we will discover that this inner polarity reveals resources and new creative possibilities that our logical mind would have no access to.

This is an aspect of Star Sapphire energywork, a method to support the inner essence of a person. This essence is like a presence, a luminosity, or an awareness of the present moment.
Meditation is the milieu, the relaxed watchfulness, within which this essence arises.

Moumina is the former Director of the Centre for Transformation in the Osho International Meditation Resort in India and has been leading workshops and trainings all over the world for over 30 years. She specialises in Pulsation (neo-Reichian emotional release breathwork), Neo-Reichian body type reading, Star Sapphire psychic energywork and Family Constellation therapy.
Moumina has a magical way of creating a safe atmosphere in which to express the deep-seated emotions that can lead to real transformation.

This weekend workshop will take place at a beautiful space at HumaNova in lovely Gamla Stan in the heart of Stockholm.

Workshop times (approximate)

Friday, February 28th
10am Start
Lunch 13:30 to 15:00
Day ends 20:00

Saturday, February 29th
8:00 OSHO Dynamic Meditation
9:00 Breakfast break
Start 10:00
Lunch: 13:30 to 15:00
Day ends: 20:00

Sunday, March 1
8:00 OSHO Dynamic Meditation
9:00 Breakfast break
Start 10:00
Lunch 13:30-14:30
Day ends: 17:00

Workshop price: 3950 kr, plus moms for companies

Many healthy snacks and teas will be offered during breaks.
Please bring your own breakfast or lunch or enjoy one of the many cafés or restaurants in the area during lunchtime.

This workshop is non-residential.
Support for nearby accommodation is available.

Spaces are limited to 20 participants.

For booking or questions, please contact Jivan at jivan@kindfulness.se or 076-0455-299

Bert Hellinger Interview

By harriet on mars 6, 2015 in @sv

Raw Chocolatey Coconut Goji Berry Cheesecake

By harriet on september 29, 2014 in being yourself, cancer, live my own life, osho, Uncategorized, vegan

Raw Chocolatey Coconut Goji Berry Cheesecake

Ok, so I’m a therapist. But I’m also an enthusiast of healthy (and always delicious) food!

And can emotional health really happen without cheesecake? I don’t think so.

Raw Chocolatey Coconut Goji Berry Cheesecake!

This cake is as good as it looks. So satisfying as a yummy treat all while you pack in a chockfull of antioxidants, vitamins and minerals your body will thank you for.

Here’s the recipe:

Filling:

5 dl cashews, soaked for 3 hours to overnight

2 dl goji berries, 1.5 dl soaked for at least 20 min, the other .5dl dry

1.25 dl coconut oil

1 ripe banana

3 tbsp (msk) raw honey

3-6 tbsp (msk) fresh lime juice or lemon juice

1 dl cacao butter (do not skip this ingredient!)

Yummy & Healthy Whole Goji Berries

Crust:

2.5 dl sunflower seeds, soaked overnight

2.5 dl coconut flakes

1.5 dl dates, soaked to soften

2 tbsp (msk) coconut oil

1.5 tbsp raw honey

6 tbsp raw cacao powder

2 tbsp cardamom

4 tbsp coconut nectar

water

Topping:

1 dl raw almonds

raw honey to taste

pinch of sea salt

Instructions:

For crust:

In a food processor, pulse the sunflower seeds until they are broken into small pieces. Add the remaining ingredients until a dough is formed. Feel free to add water to get the crust consistency you want. Check for yumminess.

Spread the yummy dough in a 22 cm (or the closest to) springform pan.

For the filling:

Put all ingredients except dry goji berries in a high speed blender until smooth. When your filling is nice and creamy, stir in dry goji berries and pour mixture in the springform pan onto the crust. You’re almost done!

For the topping:

Pulse almonds in a blender or food processor and add honey and salt.

Sprinkle mixture onto the top of the cake..and voila! Now, all you need is patience.

Place your cake in the freezer for about 5 hours or until you simply cannot wait any longer to dig in!

I would love to hear how the recipe worked for you! xoxo

How Listening to My Body’s Messages Saved My Life

By harriet on september 3, 2014 in being yourself, blogg, cancer, live my own life, Uncategorized

If I would have believed the doctors and not trusted my own body’s messages, I don’t know if I would be alive today.

My body’s messages is what saved my life.

After numerous doctors visits, I still did not feel at ease when the doctors diagnosed me with an ovarian cyst. The surgeon who was to operate on me told me I had to wait seven months to have it surgically removed.

The first doctor I saw didn’t even return my calls after a first visit because it was “nothing serious”. I told the surgeon I was in much pain, that I had to pee every 10 minutes and that my belly was growing by the week. He said, “It’s nothing to worry about. This is a normal cyst. Just relax.”

My cyst was deemed non-suspicious, but my body could not relax. Somehow, something didn’t fit. Something was keeping my body from relaxing…

I was restless. My tummy felt anxious. I couldn’t sleep. My legs wanted to move. I lay down one day and simply listened and watched every bodily sensation. I noticed breath, aches and pains. Then, a sentence came to me very strongly through my belly:

“Those doctors have no clue what’s really wrong! You cannot wait seven months for surgery! Investigate!” It was a voice so loud that I could not ignore it.

I didn’t wait another moment and made an appointment with my surgeon and out of nowhere came the following words out of my mouth: “Do you offer private surgeries outside the Canadian health care system? To my surprise, the answer was yes, for $2,750.

Some family and friends told me not to pay so much for the surgery when I could get it for free if I just waited a few months… They told me to take it easy and believe the doctors. They told me that they are the professionals and they know better than me.

My belly didn’t believe it.

Five days later and thanks to the private surgery, I received an early-stage cancer diagnosis. If I had waited seven months as the doctor recommended, the cancer would have likely spread.

I don’t know if I would be alive today. That was the best 2,750$ I ever spent, hands down!

This is not the first time my body was trying to send me important messages.

My body had been telling me for months that it wasn’t happy and that it was getting sick.

It felt nauseous and tired. But I didn’t listen. If I had, it would have told me that it wanted to live in another place. It wanted to work with something else, something meaningful. It wanted to laugh and dance.

Most importantly, my body wanted to be heard.

I just had to listen. If I had, I don’t believe I would have developed cancer.

One of the many (believe it or not) wonderful things that came with a cancer diagnosis is a new relationship with my body.

We are now best of friends. I can trust it. I know it saved my life.

I now listen to it closely because I know it has intelligence far more sophisticated than my mind.

If you have difficulty making a decision, ask your body.

When taking a moment to feeling each option, paying attention to which one makes your body’s energy go higher? That one is the right decision. This is fun, because you don’t even need to think. Just ask your body. It never lies!

But it is not always easy to listen.

Quite often while growing up, we are told to fight the body and its feelings.

Don’t tremble with fear, don’t run, don’t laugh too loudly, and don’t dance.

Eat all of your food even if you’re not hungry.

Drink coffee if you’re tired; you can’t sleep now.

Over time, this causes us to lose our connection to our bodies and ultimately our trust in them.

By losing our connection to our bodies, we lose our connection to Nature and Life itself.

Our bodies are innocent. They are primal and natural and are connected to all of Nature and the universe with its million and one happenings in every moment.

How could it not be?

As with all beings in Nature, our body works perfectly on its own without the need to think. As Osho, a great mystic, once said, the grass grows by itself…

When we are connected to our bodies and listen closely, something begins to guide us, something bigger, taking us to the next step and then the next step. This something can show up as an inner voice, a knowing or a hunch. Sometimes it can come as physical pain.

This something is what I call Life, the great mystery, always gently guiding us back to the center of it all…Love.

How and what is your body communicating to you?

I would love to hear!

This story was originally published on www.elephantjournal.com

Jivan Dios is a Canadian ovarian cancer survivor and therapist living and working in English, French & Greek in Stockholm, Sweden, and on the Greek island of Crete, where she leads customized holistic healing, therapy and couples retreats. She specializes in working online and in person with anxiety, depression, serious illness, fear, pain disorders, stress and obsessive thoughts.

How Listening to My Body’s Messages Saved My Life

By harriet on september 3, 2014 in blogg, cancer, family constellation therapy, live my own life, Uncategorized

If I would have believed the doctors and not trusted my own body’s messages, I don’t know if I would be alive today.

My body’s messages is what saved my life.

My cyst was deemed non-suspicious, but my body could not relax. Somehow, something didn’t fit. Something was keeping my body from relaxing…

“Those doctors have no clue what’s really wrong! You cannot wait seven months for surgery! Investigate!” It was a voice so loud that I could not ignore it.

My belly didn’t believe it.

Five days later and thanks to the private surgery, I received an early-stage cancer diagnosis. If I had waited seven months as the doctor recommended, the cancer would have likely spread.

I don’t know if I would be alive today. That was the best 2,750$ I ever spent, hands down!

This is not the first time my body was trying to send me important messages.

My body had been telling me for months that it wasn’t happy and that it was getting sick.

Most importantly, my body wanted to be heard.

I just had to listen. If I had, I don’t believe I would have developed cancer.

One of the many (believe it or not) wonderful things that came with a cancer diagnosis is a new relationship with my body.

We are now best of friends. I can trust it. I know it saved my life.

I now listen to it closely because I know it has intelligence far more sophisticated than my mind.

If you have difficulty making a decision, ask your body.

But it is not always easy to listen.

Quite often while growing up, we are told to fight the body and its feelings.

Don’t tremble with fear, don’t run, don’t laugh too loudly, and don’t dance.

Eat all of your food even if you’re not hungry.

Drink coffee if you’re tired; you can’t sleep now.

Over time, this causes us to lose our connection to our bodies and ultimately our trust in them.

By losing our connection to our bodies, we lose our connection to Nature and Life itself.

Our bodies are innocent. They are primal and natural and are connected to all of Nature and the universe with its million and one happenings in every moment.

How could it not be?

As with all beings in Nature, our body works perfectly on its own without the need to think. As Osho, a great mystic, once said, the grass grows by itself…

This something is what I call Life, the great mystery, always gently guiding us back to the center of it all…Love.

For help with a cancer diagnosis, counseling in English is available in Östermalm, Stockholm, or online.

Click here for contact.

Originally posted in

https://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/09/how-listening-to-my-bodys-messages-saved-my-life-jivan-dios/

Be Yourself, No Matter What They Say. 5 Ways How

By harriet on april 4, 2014 in @sv

Just be yourself.

Sounds easy. I’ve heard it many times, and for many years, I thought I was actually being myself.

The truth is, I wasn’t. I was pretending.

When someone asked me to do something, I did it. I often did not pause to feel what was right for me or what I wanted to do. Mechanically, I performed. I wanted to be liked. I wanted people to think I was smart, capable and nice.

I wanted to be the ”good girl”. I grew up with the idea that if i did what I was told, I was a good girl. I would get more smiles and less conflicts. I wanted to be loved. Not being liked was the most painful thing I could think of. So I adjusted to everyone at every moment according to what they wanted from me.

I smiled when I felt sad, felt guilt about feeling angry, and danced when i felt like sitting. In the meantime, I lost myself. I forgot who I was and what was important to me. I kept looking on the outside for approval, and lost what I now know is most important to me: My own voice.

My voice, my voice!! I get happy just writing those words! Our voice is makes us unique and extraordinary and is God-given. It is our light that guides us through life! Our sadness, our anger and our joy are all to be celebrated! Now I am the ”bad girl”. I’m the girl who says ”no” to things I don’t want, even if others think it’s wrong, and yes only to things I do want. And this helps me feel more alive. Setting boundaries and embracing our feelings makes us lighter and more energetic. Juicier. All of our feelings are unique to us, fresh and true. What can be better that that? Pretending to be something else? I don’t think so.

If we listen closely, our voice is speaking softly to us each and every moment. Our voice can often go against everything we were ever told. That is ok. It just means something new wants to be explored and that something new wants to come through you. And that can be scary. Because each and every one of our voices is so unique and different, it can often feel alone.

But if we can have fun with it and transform it into something creative, what comes after can be magical. Sadness can become a beautiful dance, anger a beautiful sharing with a friend, and joy, the most amazing meal you ever created. Any feeling can be transformed into creativity. If that’s not magic, I don’t know what is.

That magic, your magic, then serves the world. And all you had to do was be yourself.

5 practices that help me be myself:

-Accepting and breathing with my feelings, including anger and sadness. They are all there to help me learn something and guide me. They are my sacred truth

-Accept that I have my own truth and was meant to live the life I truly want, not the life others think is good for me

-Follow my own voice and trust its intelligence and its goodness–no matter what

-Transform the energy of feelings into something creative such as writing or dancing

-Not taking myself too seriously. Relaxing and having fun!

I would love to read about ways your have learned to stay true to yourself.

Jivan Dios is a Canadian Family Constellation Therapist living & working in English, French & Greek in Stockholm, Sweden and on the island of Crete in Greece where she offers couples therapy and counselling as well as family constellations sessions and groups. Meditation is her passion.

Online Therapy is also available.

why i never ”battled” cancer

By harriet on mars 18, 2014 in being yourself, blogg, cancer, family constellation therapy, online therapy, osho, relaxation, Stress management, therapy stockholm

Cancer didn’t just happen to me. It took time. I remember something within me trying to talk to me long before it decided to go it’s own way and become cancer. It yelled and screamed. It made me uncomfortable. It made me sad. It cried and and made my belly tight. I ignored it. So it finally gave up. It was done with me. It hit the road and went it’s own way and took a whole bunch of other cells with it. They all became a tough gang called “solid tumor.”

I often notice the words people use to describe people with cancer.

“She is battling cancer.” “ He lost his battle with cancer.”

“His fight against cancer.”

After my own diagnosis, many told me to “fight” this cancer, that I “can win”. It felt as if I was suddenly in a boxing match that I could win if I only could only “fight” hard enough. At first I thought, “Good news! If I only fight hard enough, I can be healed!

I’m terrified here. I’m alone. I need to fight for my life…I’ll do anything! I’ll fight. Just tell me what to do. I’m ready.”

So I put my gloves on, took a crouching position to protect myself and squinted. I looked around to have a look at the competitors who were…..me and…me again!

In one corner was a healthy part of me and in the other corner, there was the cancer that may be in my body, which is also me.

It got me thinking…who is my opponent? Who is the enemy? In both corners it is only ME. I looked around and could only see my own body. There was no enemy, only my own body. I realized there was nobody to fight. So I took the gloves off. And took a long, deep breath.

Then something unexpected happened as I released from the crouching. I no longer felt alone and terrified. I slowly began to smile more. I even danced. Almost every day.

I felt that I had been suddenly awakened and became aware of the precious gift of life. I became aware of the only vehicle I had for life: my body. I became aware of me.

By knowing that I did not need to fight my body no matter what its condition may be in, something deep began to relax inside. I felt a wonderful acceptance. Then, a lightness came. I felt an openness surrounding me. I felt support all around me. And most of all, I felt love.

There was nothing to fight, fix or change. I felt like my own best friend.

And as best friends do, they listen, not fight. So I listened to my body as a whole, and then I listened to my cells that were going their own way: the cancer cells.

They looked very intimidating. I was terrified. But I still kept the gloves off.

Then I had one of the most beautiful experiences of my life: I dared to look at cancer straight in the face. I was terrified but knew I had to listen. I felt it had something to teach me. So I listened. Humbly. It expressed much sadness and hurt. And it was angry; the same way children get angry.

Cancer was not the monster I had imagined. And it was certainly not the enemy. It was a part of me that reminded me of small little boy who was sad and lonely. And ran away from home.

It was a part of me that I had forgotten about. A part that I didn’t listen to. A part that I hadn’t loved. That part simply wanted to express itself and to be seen. Most of all, it wanted to be loved and accepted.

More than ever, fighting was not the right thing to do. How could I fight someone who’s sad and lonely? Sad and lonely needed a friend.

I knew after that listening experience that I needed to make some radical changes in my life.

There was no room for compromise. I needed to live life to the fullest! I needed to respect what that ill part of me longed for. Not easy, I tell you. Why isn’t that easy, you may ask? Because what we long for is often not what others would like us to do. And being a pleaser, this was especially difficult for me.

I still need to remind myself every day to listen to only me and nobody else.

I do this by staying very close to myself. Because there are a lot of voices out there in this big world.

I have to listen very closely, because my body is so gentle and loving…it only whispers.

I now trust that listening to my deepest voice can only lead me to health and deep love. It already has.

By listening, I am getting to know parts of myself I didn’t even know were there. And I like those parts. They are love. Love is always with me, no matter what. Cancer or no cancer.

Jivan Dios is a Canadian Family Constellation Therapist living & working in English, French & Greek in Stockholm, Sweden and on the Greek island of Crete where she offers couples retreats, therapy & holistic healing.

Have you been diagnosed with a serious illness? You are not alone, and there is support. Online sessions are available. Visit her at www.opentherapy.se

email jivan@opentherapy.se

tel. +46.760.455.299

Fel: Kontaktformulär hittades inte.

you are still innocent

By harriet on mars 18, 2014 in being yourself, blogg, family constellation therapy, online therapy, osho, relaxation, Stress management, therapy stockholm, Uncategorized

Do you remember when you were a little child, you felt joy simply by running free for no reason,could laugh while chasing butterflies and could play with the same toy for hours? Your belly felt totally relaxed, knowing somehow you were completely safe? When you were sad, you cried. When you were angry, you yelled and frowned.

You were innocent then. Guess what, you still are.

This innocence and simpler way of being are still inside of you and each and every one of us and can be felt at any moment, no matter what hardships you have endured. This simpler way of being cannot be taken away from you. It is essentially who you really are. You possess a wonderful inner intelligence that is based not only on your mind. This intelligence is much bigger: it comes from a knowing from your entire body. You are an amazingly intelligent and loving soul with simple needs. Your deepest wish is to live happily and playfully, with a career and relationship that makes you thrive and live your fullest potential. Sounds simple, and it can be. You just need to listen.

Transforming pain, depression, blame, unhappy relationships, chronic illness, fear and anxiety into something more beautiful than you ever imagined is not only possible, but easily within reach. With this shift, a deep inner compassion is revealed as well as a closer and deeper relationship with yourself and others. With this shift, healing happens. Life becomes more fun and creative, richer, full of wonder, love and gratitude. In fact, this is what life wants for you every day. Life is always wanting you and helping you to come back to your true nature of boundless joy and unconditional love.

Jivan is a Canadian Family Constellation Therapist living & working in English, French & Greek in Stockholm, Sweden, as well as on the island of Crete in Greece where she offers couples retreats, therapy & holistic healing.

Online Therapy is also available.

email jivan@opentherapy.se

tel +46.760.455.299

Fel: Kontaktformulär hittades inte.

lessons from a dog: just be yourself and hug

By harriet on mars 11, 2014 in being yourself, blogg, dogs, relaxation, therapy stockholm, Uncategorized

He loves for no reason. He plays for no reason at all. He simply IS whatever he is doing. He doesn’t overthink anything. He is open for anything and everything! He is Buster the dog. And we will be caring for him this week at our home.

I noticed yesterday that he is currently the most loved being in our home. Humans included. When he is playing, I want to join in and hug him and kiss him and play! And so does everyone else.

I wondered why we were much more likely to hug and kiss and play with this dog than with the human beings in our own lives?

For example, when a human friend comes through the door, I feel very happy to see her, but don’t jump on her, dance around her and tell her she is “the cutest thing ever” every time I see her.

That thought made me realize that I think that that friend would probably love the same welcome I offer the dog. And I would like that too.

At the end of the day, who wouldn’t want to be welcomed with open arms, a big smile and an even bigger hug?

I notice that during such moments, I often don’t allow my natural spontaneity to come through. Buster has helped me realize that I want to play more, hug more, kiss more, and just be myself–more.

Thank you, Buster.

We are not very different from dogs. We only think we are.

Buster

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Jivan Dios is a Family Constellation therapist living and working in English, French & Greek in Stockholm, Sweden & on the island of Crete in Greece where she offers couples retreats, therapy & holistic healing.

Fel: Kontaktformulär hittades inte.

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