Bad communication. It’s one of the biggest reasons relationships fail.
In other words, many relationships end because we aren’t able to successfully express how we truly feel inside and neither can our partner.
Without good communication, even the couple who is most in love can get into serious relationship trouble.
Because of bad communication, we end up in conflict: crying, tension, withdrawal, yelling, using an aggressive tone of voice and saying things we later regret.
We end up hurt and hurting the person we love the most.
When we don’t communicate effectively, we often feel misunderstood, that our partner just doesn’t “get” us. We feel blamed and even end up blaming our partner.
How did things go wrong?
Here’s an example. Feel the difference between the next 2 sentences one might communicate to their partner:
- “You never call me back!”
2. “I felt alone and rejected when you didn’t call me back last night”
Our choice of words makes a HUGE difference in how we communicate
Good communication is basically a foreign language that can be learned. And to learn a new language takes some skill and patience with one self and our partner.
Try these 3 simple steps to better communication that will transform your relationship
- Feeling crazy angry? Don’t try to resolve any issue with your partner
You read that correctly! Even though it’s burning inside and you just want to scream at your partner and tear your hair out-stop! That’s exactly why you shouldn’t even try. Wait until the dust settles. Take some breaths. Change activity. Meet again later when you both feel calm. No new resolution can happen from a place of stress and tension. Communicating from a space of calm is the first and most important step to better communication.
2. Slow down
When we need to share something painful, we usually feel scared. Scared of being rejected. Not listened to. So we try to do it fast. Take a couple of breaths and connect to your legs before saying a word. Repeat everything you hear your partner saying.
3. Don’t take anything your partner says too personally. It’s only 10% about you.
When your partner
3.
there ALWAYS an underlying reason that would make you cry.
Please don’t blame yourself for not getting it right. Almost none of us knows how to communicate in a loving way. We weren’t taught
